Many of us are stuck in “survival mode” and may not even be aware of it.
This can look like depression, anxiety, substance use or abuse, compulsive behaviors, unfulfilling- or even toxic- relationships…the list goes on and on.
We might feel upset with ourselves that we’re not doing better, can’t seem to stop doing things that aren’t helping us…maybe we’re feeling lost or empty, feeling left out of the good life experiences we see other people having around us. We might feel like an outsider, an actor, or an imposter. We know something is wrong but we haven’t been able to get clear with ourselves about what it is or how to change it.
We may even be involved in various kinds of self-care or self-help, working on ourselves, yet finding ourselves mystified when it comes to certain situations, behaviors and experiences where we feel repeatedly stuck and dragged back to a place we thought we were leaving behind us forever.
We may find ourselves dipping into states of mind and feeling that make us feel depressed, desperate, angry, hurt, ashamed and perhaps seeking relief through behaviors that we know on some level aren’t truly helping us (and often are making things worse) but we’re really not sure what else is possible for us.
Something inside of us is telling us we need to do something else to get to the bottom of this.
from surviving…
The part of us that reaches for something better is moving us towards thriving.
The self— the highest self, the soul, the psyche— is infinitely intelligent and resourceful. In a sense, as strange as it may sound, what we see as what’s wrong with us is actually evidence of our intelligent, resourceful self in action.
This same self will make sure we are uncomfortable when it is time to change and grow. And instead of burning up in the fire of our discomfort, we can instead be fueled by it and propelled forward into a better place.
We can learn to recognize what is presenting in our lives as opportunities— to change, grow and heal— that are moving us towards a place of greater health, well-being and happiness.
We can learn to understand ourselves— and “our selves” as in all the different parts of us—and how we have adapted to survive sometimes extremely difficult circumstances and experiences. And we can be empowered to shed those survival adaptations that no longer serve us. We can be empowered to make new choices, to respond instead of reacting.
We can grow in fearlessness. To not be afraid of accountability and responsibility. To not be afraid of ourselves or others.
We can witness ourselves step into abilities we never knew were available to us. We can have better self-esteem.
We can become active participants in the fullness of life, expecting neither perfection nor absolute failure. And we can have the capacity to stay afloat and steady our vessel when life’s storms arise.